I hold the experiences from today in my hands, beautiful experiences, and I am reflecting upon these experiences from a good distance away, enough to be able to put everything in perspective. Yes, like a snowglobe, beautiful, meaningful, and sometimes very captivating.
Today was my final official Drama session. I am very happy that I have done both my Drama Club and my Sec4s one final service on my last day. I have given my club one final push, one that I hope will usher in a new stage of development for Ngee Ann English Drama Club. Of course, I will periodically be back to check on how my club is doing and how my juniors are developing. They are all raw, fresh gems, and probably nobody is more skilled with a chisel than I am. Thanks Aidan for the major vote of confidence :) It turns out that after all, I brought the curtains down on my rather illustrious play in a reasonably satisfying finite.
I am happy and ready to move on.
After all that, there was more to come! Today was the first time I told anyone about TCS. Zul is my confidante! I know I can depend on Zul to give me support. I already feel better about getting it off my chest. I may have intellect and hence abilities of reasoning above many others, but I suppose I am not yet emotionally strong enough to bear the psychological consequences that my daily revelations bring. Everyday I discover more about myself.... simply by conversing with my thoughts, because it almost seems like my thoughts are a separate, conscious entity living within me. Its voice rings in my ears in a staccato and sporadic fashion, and when I call out to it, it answers back with spectral certainty. It's strange that it'd probably sound like my own voice, but the voicebox tingles and flanges to another will.
When I have these mono-conversations, I discover things about myself that I note down, and everyday I know I become wiser. The world descends into a mundane pattern of ordered chaos, a veil that becomes gradually easier to pierce with mere perception. I realise that nobody takes on the world alone, and I am thankful I have friends with me. I am grateful I have been given time to develop both an acute mind (no doubt thanks to my Student Council) and a rich, soulful passion (no doubt thanks to my Drama Club).My parents once told me that I have done in 16 years things they would never have done in a lifetime. If I really have surpassed them in such a manner.... I suppose I must not hold it against them for not understanding me when I try to tell them about myself.
Maybe that explains the effort I put into crafting these posts! I wonder if I will read these posts 30 years down the road and see myself as a helpless guy groping around in the dark. The people around me tell me that I'm deep, and everyday my eyes are probably opened a bit more, but I really do beg to differ.
'Tis the ultimate irony that the more a man knows, the more he realises how much he doesn't know.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Who am I kidding?
Whenever I scrolll down my msn convo list I'll STILL get to a certain point when I just become a little bit more aware of my heartbeat.
Wtf?
Wtf?
I'll never be the same.
redglhalilerGaeriughergjrlguhiHILUnerg1392104rqiwr12erkgn48(*g34tef*(#$!!
Alright awesome fingers are warmed up. ^^ Today, I engaged in big, fat,
NOTHING.
Which is a pretty awesome thing to do, especially since i haven't done that in such a long time! For the first time in a long time, the voices in my head have quietened. It is good to have some peace every now and then. You COULD say that it may be me becoming stupider, but I'll gladly stay this way if it means that I can be a normal person without my thoughts ringing so actively within my mind. Today, I saw the world with far more simplicity, and clarity. I wonder why have I become so stupid all of a sudden! Although this time I think it's a good thing.
It's not about controlling your thoughts, I learnt today. Allow your thoughts to run, immerse yourself in the possibilities, because the mind will eventually decide that it is time to return to reality. After, daydreaming is sometimes a very enriching activity :P For the first time in a full month, a certain someone has stayed out of my thoughts for the whole day. That's good since it's pointless to actively explore the possibility of an impossibility. A rather obvious statement in itself, but people do tend to believe in the impossible every now and then, especially when the only perceivable outcome is a sad, twisted portrait of murky black and brown and a haphazard network of crisscrossed lines. A piece of sad abstract art defines sadness in every possible way, simply because it does not define sadness in any possible way. After all, to not think about a certain someone, I have to think about that certain someone first before I can possibly un-think her, right?
It's because of things like this, I'll probably never be the way I was in the past. When I close my eyes and think, I see images, videos playing out, of how I was like in the past. Immature, more headstrong, but more carefree and less weary. When the reel stops rolling and I am forced to draw a comparison, I can only tell myself it is time to move on! People change! And that includes you, Keith. The drawbacks of a perfect memory.
Ahhh, writing about that certain someone now simply makes me have to type a paragraph to console myself. As it is now, TCS (that certain someone) may cease to be in my life at the end of this year. I'd rather not start swimming in this lake when it's evaporating so fast, which probably means it's very hot water, too. Even if let's say, let's JUST say, something really works out. I may be pretty good at things like analysis, perception and observation, but.... I wish I had some clairvoyance to help me out here. LET'S SAY we hook up and fall hard for each other (I said fall HARD, not fall DEEP). Then at the end of the year, for all intents and purposes, TCS vanishes from the face of the planet.
Then what? Bah I shouldn't have written this post. Now I've got more questions than ever.
And, that TCS-shaped coal in my heart is burning me up more than ever!
Alright awesome fingers are warmed up. ^^ Today, I engaged in big, fat,
NOTHING.
Which is a pretty awesome thing to do, especially since i haven't done that in such a long time! For the first time in a long time, the voices in my head have quietened. It is good to have some peace every now and then. You COULD say that it may be me becoming stupider, but I'll gladly stay this way if it means that I can be a normal person without my thoughts ringing so actively within my mind. Today, I saw the world with far more simplicity, and clarity. I wonder why have I become so stupid all of a sudden! Although this time I think it's a good thing.
It's not about controlling your thoughts, I learnt today. Allow your thoughts to run, immerse yourself in the possibilities, because the mind will eventually decide that it is time to return to reality. After, daydreaming is sometimes a very enriching activity :P For the first time in a full month, a certain someone has stayed out of my thoughts for the whole day. That's good since it's pointless to actively explore the possibility of an impossibility. A rather obvious statement in itself, but people do tend to believe in the impossible every now and then, especially when the only perceivable outcome is a sad, twisted portrait of murky black and brown and a haphazard network of crisscrossed lines. A piece of sad abstract art defines sadness in every possible way, simply because it does not define sadness in any possible way. After all, to not think about a certain someone, I have to think about that certain someone first before I can possibly un-think her, right?
It's because of things like this, I'll probably never be the way I was in the past. When I close my eyes and think, I see images, videos playing out, of how I was like in the past. Immature, more headstrong, but more carefree and less weary. When the reel stops rolling and I am forced to draw a comparison, I can only tell myself it is time to move on! People change! And that includes you, Keith. The drawbacks of a perfect memory.
Ahhh, writing about that certain someone now simply makes me have to type a paragraph to console myself. As it is now, TCS (that certain someone) may cease to be in my life at the end of this year. I'd rather not start swimming in this lake when it's evaporating so fast, which probably means it's very hot water, too. Even if let's say, let's JUST say, something really works out. I may be pretty good at things like analysis, perception and observation, but.... I wish I had some clairvoyance to help me out here. LET'S SAY we hook up and fall hard for each other (I said fall HARD, not fall DEEP). Then at the end of the year, for all intents and purposes, TCS vanishes from the face of the planet.
Then what? Bah I shouldn't have written this post. Now I've got more questions than ever.
And, that TCS-shaped coal in my heart is burning me up more than ever!
Friday, March 26, 2010
The raging conflagration that used to be, is now but a pile of glowing embers.
Long day today, and the ocean that is my mind is filled to the brim with the bittersweet water of new experiences, emotions, and thoughts. Let the ocean-emptying begin!
I think I started the day out rather brightly and I managed some awesome moments, but over the day I kind of wilted. Eventually something in me took over and brought me down. I became numb and dull and monotone. It's a very bad thing to feel and I'm ashamed that I let that become a part of me over the past month. I'm working to step back into the present, but these things take time..... I must persevere, simply because I relish regaining my... much-ness.
After the chicken-feat English paper today, I headed down to Sports Day with the guys to do our part! Today I was a noob at comforting people and doing that leadership thing that I'm normally pretty good at though. It was probably the mundane-ness of the day that was distracting me. It wasn't as fun as previous years because I couldn't help but think about the fact that next year I wouldn't be doing this anymore... At least not for NAS. Had an enlightening "farewell talk" with the SC teachers that will change the way I see my juniors. Educate, do not judge. Support, do not criticize. At this point, the fatigue of having to focus on the present was beginning to wear me out. I got a bit irritable and I guess I'm sorry for being an asshole to my friends at times.
After that, dinner at EastPoint. I was silent for most of the dinner and although my food was far from enough for me to be full, my mouth felt leaded and I couldn't eat. The most I managed were a few lame laughs and shit like that..... Today was fun but it basically ended in a very shitty manner. I think I did the full anti-social emo asshole set and signalled for everyone around me to piss off. I regret that such a thing happened, of course, but I do not blame myself too much. The ghosts of the past are often the darkest, you know?
Despite that.... before I started tiring, the day was extremely satisfying. Had very productive lessons, had quite a fun PE, funny moments with the gang, plenty of happiness to go around. I want to remain in that kind of state forever! In order to do that I guess I must learn to block out some.... external distractions. All this unconscious fantasizing is fucking with my mind too much, far too much. It must stop.
I'll spend half an hour meditating maybe. Then I'm going for a skate. East Coast Park and beyond! To wield my focus like a blade once more...
Please get out of my head.
I think I started the day out rather brightly and I managed some awesome moments, but over the day I kind of wilted. Eventually something in me took over and brought me down. I became numb and dull and monotone. It's a very bad thing to feel and I'm ashamed that I let that become a part of me over the past month. I'm working to step back into the present, but these things take time..... I must persevere, simply because I relish regaining my... much-ness.
After the chicken-feat English paper today, I headed down to Sports Day with the guys to do our part! Today I was a noob at comforting people and doing that leadership thing that I'm normally pretty good at though. It was probably the mundane-ness of the day that was distracting me. It wasn't as fun as previous years because I couldn't help but think about the fact that next year I wouldn't be doing this anymore... At least not for NAS. Had an enlightening "farewell talk" with the SC teachers that will change the way I see my juniors. Educate, do not judge. Support, do not criticize. At this point, the fatigue of having to focus on the present was beginning to wear me out. I got a bit irritable and I guess I'm sorry for being an asshole to my friends at times.
After that, dinner at EastPoint. I was silent for most of the dinner and although my food was far from enough for me to be full, my mouth felt leaded and I couldn't eat. The most I managed were a few lame laughs and shit like that..... Today was fun but it basically ended in a very shitty manner. I think I did the full anti-social emo asshole set and signalled for everyone around me to piss off. I regret that such a thing happened, of course, but I do not blame myself too much. The ghosts of the past are often the darkest, you know?
Despite that.... before I started tiring, the day was extremely satisfying. Had very productive lessons, had quite a fun PE, funny moments with the gang, plenty of happiness to go around. I want to remain in that kind of state forever! In order to do that I guess I must learn to block out some.... external distractions. All this unconscious fantasizing is fucking with my mind too much, far too much. It must stop.
I'll spend half an hour meditating maybe. Then I'm going for a skate. East Coast Park and beyond! To wield my focus like a blade once more...
Please get out of my head.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
A decisive decision
Alright! I've made up my mind. Life has to be spontaneous! In fact, that's what I advocate (especially when it comes to planning camps. Heh.) So no more pointless pondering and going in circles- I will be myself, live everyday like it's my last, and.... take whatever comes my way :)
Gnight kids!
Gnight kids!
Screw being sad, let's just eat sleep grow fat and die!
On a happier note, I just finished a new composition! Moment No. 50. I'm thinking of calling it "The Calm before the Storm". Because I started on this piece before I left for piano exam, and I think it portrays my emotions at the time pretty well. I think that composing should be very spontaneous, and it should be something that doesn't take up too much time. When I compose, unless I'm composing using pure, cold, mechanical thought (which doesn't get me anything good), I have to capitalise on the the emotions while they are still fresh, which is why my pieces are largely done merely in about 2 days, after which I edit the piece a bit if I want to. That's how all my pieces are: spur-of-the-moment, spontaneous figments of my creativity. That's why I call them Moments!
Bah, the ramblings of an amateur.
With my piano exam now behind me, I have much more time to do the things I like, as opposed to doing the things I simply have to. It's much easier to feel motivated when you set out to accomplish things for yourself!
I spent today mostly playing the piano and reading, in between meals. I feel empowered. "Just One More Day" by Mitch Albom is a very good read. I've never taken so long to process 200 pages. The content is deeply moving and inspiring. Then again, what from Albom isn't? Maybe I'll go for a jog later, then clear some homework at night.
I really do have to regain my focus.
Bah, the ramblings of an amateur.
With my piano exam now behind me, I have much more time to do the things I like, as opposed to doing the things I simply have to. It's much easier to feel motivated when you set out to accomplish things for yourself!
I spent today mostly playing the piano and reading, in between meals. I feel empowered. "Just One More Day" by Mitch Albom is a very good read. I've never taken so long to process 200 pages. The content is deeply moving and inspiring. Then again, what from Albom isn't? Maybe I'll go for a jog later, then clear some homework at night.
I really do have to regain my focus.
An unexpected development
I couldn't take it. I snuck out and wandered and wandered and found myself by the banks of Bedok Reservoir. There, I did what I usually did, and I sat up and pondered. Except that this time, there was no development, no spark to light up the darkness, no inspiration.
Everything remained murky. I think I am deteriorating somehow. It's good then that I can still lose myself in my piano scores, because sometimes I need to get away. Even the mono-conversations are losing their meaning, because a lot of times I simply do not answer. I mustn't lose my focus to something as trival as this. This setback is totally unjustified.
Ironic that the one thing that may help me, is the one thing I cannot allow myself to touch...
Everything remained murky. I think I am deteriorating somehow. It's good then that I can still lose myself in my piano scores, because sometimes I need to get away. Even the mono-conversations are losing their meaning, because a lot of times I simply do not answer. I mustn't lose my focus to something as trival as this. This setback is totally unjustified.
Ironic that the one thing that may help me, is the one thing I cannot allow myself to touch...
Discipline
You know exactly why you're logging into MSN at this hour so log the fuck out.
GOODNIGHT GO SLEEP
GOODNIGHT GO SLEEP
I am tired after shouting out all my bottled up fear into the wall.
I think I must be going nuts. Gnite
im just going to brain dierear everything i think of and name this another day because its hard to think straight when all i can think about is one think but i don't want to think about just that one thing because im used to spreading my mind over many tasks and this is not what im supposed to be doing get out of me get out of me i try to focus and calm myself but no because the voice is too loud and its the only thing i can hear and its the only thing i can think about the pictures are too real to ignore im a plane that just took a nosedive and crashlanded on an island full of wild anymals
It's finished alright get out of my mind I don't want you there please get out and stay out you cause me much more confusion than I can deal with and I'm not used to confusion I tried banging my head against the wall to knock you off but it didn't work and all I managed to do is wake my parents up I think I must sleep this off but no way I can sleep like this tonight is going to be a tough night I need help please get out of me
Since when was it a trend to pay and enter the cinema to watch a cartoon?
Just caught How to Train a Dragon in 3D! With Benedict, Weijie, Joel, Cheryl, Janice and Qian Hui. It was... pretty much of a children's show :P Sappy plot which taps on a child's fascination. I got a headache after the show T_T Haven't seen Wei Jie so fascinated and awestruck before though. By a kiddy-movie. Siggggghhh. Too bad I couldn't say the same thing for my dear lad Benedict :(
Then, thanks to Janice for giving me a lift home after the stupid decision I made in my headached and tired state :P
Although it was a fun night, I didn't have much fun. Yeah figure it out! I wonder where has the assertive, vibrant, extroverted, outspoken Keith gone to? I was pondering the whole night. And strangely, I didn't have to meditate on this hard problem. I actually intended to go spend the night at the beach after the show, but I halfway through the outing I realised I didn't have to.
This has to stop. All of it. I'm done. It's a simple equation, and when the equation doesn't balance out, it's not going to work. So, you scrap the equation and find some other figures that will make the equation work. I cannot function properly. I feel like I need to go cheer my ass off in some camp (ALTC in June?), so I can rediscover my zest. Now, I look inside myself, and I look not towards my (hopefully sound) mind, but my heart, and I look for the fire, the passion that ought to be coursing through me, the power.
Then, I'm suddenly struck by the feeling that I'm lost and alone because that's when I realise that it's not there anymore.
Then, thanks to Janice for giving me a lift home after the stupid decision I made in my headached and tired state :P
Although it was a fun night, I didn't have much fun. Yeah figure it out! I wonder where has the assertive, vibrant, extroverted, outspoken Keith gone to? I was pondering the whole night. And strangely, I didn't have to meditate on this hard problem. I actually intended to go spend the night at the beach after the show, but I halfway through the outing I realised I didn't have to.
This has to stop. All of it. I'm done. It's a simple equation, and when the equation doesn't balance out, it's not going to work. So, you scrap the equation and find some other figures that will make the equation work. I cannot function properly. I feel like I need to go cheer my ass off in some camp (ALTC in June?), so I can rediscover my zest. Now, I look inside myself, and I look not towards my (hopefully sound) mind, but my heart, and I look for the fire, the passion that ought to be coursing through me, the power.
Then, I'm suddenly struck by the feeling that I'm lost and alone because that's when I realise that it's not there anymore.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Vindicating
My piano exam is in 6 hours! This is the 20 minutes I've been preparing for, for the past year. Today I skipped school to stay and home and drill my scales and arpeggios more. I like how my pieces sound, I think they're extremely polished, and I think they're expressive as you can get on a light piano with shallow hammer action like a Yamaha. Wonder if I'll ever get to play on a Steinway? :P
The feeling is amazing! I haven't felt this kind of rush before an examination in a long time. I'm playing every piece like it's going to be the last time I'm playing (most definitely not - when I start working I'll save up for a $20k piano, and continue playing piano for the rest of my life! And then some.). It's wonderful how your fingers respond to your will, to pay attention to every single detail, to sculpt the forte and the piano and the schforzando and the sostenuto so delicately. I haven't heard myself play such lyrical dolce, or such suspenseful rallentendo! Right at the moment which matters, I think I've peaked.
It helps that I've extensively studied the histories of the composers for all my pieces and I know how THEY played the pieces. Alright that's all the time that I can afford! I'm gonna take a nap now. I was up last night at East Coast Park so I didn't get a lot of sleep.
After that, scale in D# minor, hands together 1 octave apart, staccato.
The feeling is amazing! I haven't felt this kind of rush before an examination in a long time. I'm playing every piece like it's going to be the last time I'm playing (most definitely not - when I start working I'll save up for a $20k piano, and continue playing piano for the rest of my life! And then some.). It's wonderful how your fingers respond to your will, to pay attention to every single detail, to sculpt the forte and the piano and the schforzando and the sostenuto so delicately. I haven't heard myself play such lyrical dolce, or such suspenseful rallentendo! Right at the moment which matters, I think I've peaked.
It helps that I've extensively studied the histories of the composers for all my pieces and I know how THEY played the pieces. Alright that's all the time that I can afford! I'm gonna take a nap now. I was up last night at East Coast Park so I didn't get a lot of sleep.
After that, scale in D# minor, hands together 1 octave apart, staccato.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Best way to deal with something you can't get.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to let go. But do I let go now? Do I let go for this opportunity? I must meditate on this.
In life, shit happens.
That summarizes my day today. First, I wake up to find that my phone died on me. It remained dead until I was outside Nokia Service Center. Only THERE did it stop refusing to switch on. Why do I always get the problematic phone?!
More to come. I went to school today with my crappy haircut.
I'm surprised more people didn't laugh at my haircut. Only Anderson and Cheryl did.
AIOEJAOIEGRJAER;OGIAJ[HRISGBKSAER
Curse those fail hairdressers! I asked for layer, then that stupid new auntie at EC House gave me this -.- After the haircut,
Keith: Wait wait, you call THIS layered?! (In Chinese. By the way, I don't make cynical remarks like that at strangers very often. I WAS very pissed)
Best part, all the auntie managed to reply was "Heh heh". WTF?!
To top it all off, lessons were boring-ass, and I went straight home after school because everybody got CCA and shit. Seriously!
Just to give you guys an idea of how crappy today was. The only fun part today was recess with the 4R2 guys, because we make fun of Benedict. I've still got so much more to write about but I can't gather my thoughts when I'm feeling indignant about my day and... I'm so weary. I thrive on emotions but now they're sapping me of all I've got left!
Note to self: Please stop thinking about people you're not supposed to be thinking about, especially when you're in such a precarious mental state, and you're constantly racked by your intelligent and deep but pointless pondering.
More to come. I went to school today with my crappy haircut.
I'm surprised more people didn't laugh at my haircut. Only Anderson and Cheryl did.
AIOEJAOIEGRJAER;OGIAJ[HRISGBKSAER
Curse those fail hairdressers! I asked for layer, then that stupid new auntie at EC House gave me this -.- After the haircut,
Keith: Wait wait, you call THIS layered?! (In Chinese. By the way, I don't make cynical remarks like that at strangers very often. I WAS very pissed)
Best part, all the auntie managed to reply was "Heh heh". WTF?!
To top it all off, lessons were boring-ass, and I went straight home after school because everybody got CCA and shit. Seriously!
Just to give you guys an idea of how crappy today was. The only fun part today was recess with the 4R2 guys, because we make fun of Benedict. I've still got so much more to write about but I can't gather my thoughts when I'm feeling indignant about my day and... I'm so weary. I thrive on emotions but now they're sapping me of all I've got left!
Note to self: Please stop thinking about people you're not supposed to be thinking about, especially when you're in such a precarious mental state, and you're constantly racked by your intelligent and deep but pointless pondering.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
A lecture on Contrapunto, and then some.
Today was awesome! Well, quite. I think.
I normally wake up at ~7am, but today I woke only at 10am. So, I woke up feeling very pissed and prissy. It's very annoying when you find that all of a sudden, you have 3 hours less in your day to do stuff with. And why? you wanted to lie motionless in bed for awhile. :/ So 3 hours, in which I could've played piano/use computer/read/go for morning jog/go to gym, was wasted lying in bed snoring and getting fat and old and stupid. Pffft.
Good thing the rest of the day was spent productively then. Haven't played Beethoven so well in a long time. Which is good since exam is in 2 days and I need the confidence. I miss playing Bach, though. I'll play that more after exam! Contrapunto is a bit more different from most other styles of music, such as melody with accompaniment, or chordal, in a very fundamental manner. When playing contrapunto, J.S Bach in particular, one must pay close attention to the philosophy behind it.
As opposed to having a melody line and an accompaniment, contrapunto is about 2 separate lines of melody harmonizing with one another. When each is played separately, each melody line is supposed to be perfectly acceptable by itself, without requiring any accompaniment. Hence, when playing Bach, or contrapunto in general, effort must be made to distinguish the 2 lines of melody from one another. One way to do so would be to contrast the 2 hands in terms of dynamics, articulation, time, tonality, etc. But please don't tinker with volume. Contrapunto is supposed to sound like multiple voices singing together,each singing their own thing, but each part of a bigger score. So the score cannot be dominated by 1 voice overpowering the others.
The result is an overwhelmingly amazing sound, because a listener will be able to discern the individual voices as separate melodies, but hear the voices mish-mash together to form something beautiful and grand.
After piano, met up with Josh, Cheng Feng and Thane at T3 for some TCS(Talk Cock Session), then ran one round around Bedok Reservoir. 4km. I haven't felt so weak and out of it in a long time. Must talk to Wei Jie about running together.
MANCHESTER UNITED ALL THE WAYYYYY
I normally wake up at ~7am, but today I woke only at 10am. So, I woke up feeling very pissed and prissy. It's very annoying when you find that all of a sudden, you have 3 hours less in your day to do stuff with. And why? you wanted to lie motionless in bed for awhile. :/ So 3 hours, in which I could've played piano/use computer/read/go for morning jog/go to gym, was wasted lying in bed snoring and getting fat and old and stupid. Pffft.
Good thing the rest of the day was spent productively then. Haven't played Beethoven so well in a long time. Which is good since exam is in 2 days and I need the confidence. I miss playing Bach, though. I'll play that more after exam! Contrapunto is a bit more different from most other styles of music, such as melody with accompaniment, or chordal, in a very fundamental manner. When playing contrapunto, J.S Bach in particular, one must pay close attention to the philosophy behind it.
As opposed to having a melody line and an accompaniment, contrapunto is about 2 separate lines of melody harmonizing with one another. When each is played separately, each melody line is supposed to be perfectly acceptable by itself, without requiring any accompaniment. Hence, when playing Bach, or contrapunto in general, effort must be made to distinguish the 2 lines of melody from one another. One way to do so would be to contrast the 2 hands in terms of dynamics, articulation, time, tonality, etc. But please don't tinker with volume. Contrapunto is supposed to sound like multiple voices singing together,each singing their own thing, but each part of a bigger score. So the score cannot be dominated by 1 voice overpowering the others.
The result is an overwhelmingly amazing sound, because a listener will be able to discern the individual voices as separate melodies, but hear the voices mish-mash together to form something beautiful and grand.
After piano, met up with Josh, Cheng Feng and Thane at T3 for some TCS(Talk Cock Session), then ran one round around Bedok Reservoir. 4km. I haven't felt so weak and out of it in a long time. Must talk to Wei Jie about running together.
MANCHESTER UNITED ALL THE WAYYYYY
OH SH**
I'm suddenly gripped by this irrational fear: WHAT IF I FAIL MY PIANO EXAM OMG.
Bbye
*F#minor scale x 10123458359034million*
Bbye
*F#minor scale x 10123458359034million*
Why does a morning have to start like this
When you do the same thing twice, you will probably get the same reaction twice.
Similarly, if you call my music "Bullshit" again, I will sock you in the nose again.
Asshole.
Similarly, if you call my music "Bullshit" again, I will sock you in the nose again.
Asshole.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Consideration and Hypocrisy are really long-lost brothers
Considerate people are awesome! They hold the lift door for you, give way on the road, give you their food, give you their money, they'd give you their skins if you acted a bit fragile and asked really politely.
Wait what?
No seriously. Considerate people aren't necessarily a good thing. What if everyone in the world were ALL considerate?
Scenario 1
Considerate Man 1: Please do have this seat.
Considerate Man 2: Nonono, it's alright, you go ahead.
CM1: Nah don't you worry about me, take a seat!
CM2: No YOU don't worry about ME, YOU take a seat!
CM1: YOU!
CM2:YOU!
CM1:YOU!
CM2:(F___) YOU!
It'd actually be rather amusing. :)
Now consider hypocrites. Put them beside considerate people (For the purposes of this post we shall just call them "Considerates"), and most of you would say something like "Hey these guys are on the opposite end of the spectrum!". Now, are they really?
Scenario 2
Random Guy: Hey do you mind lending me $10?
H: (No chance in hell, biyatch) Sure thing :)
RG: Thanks!
H: You owe me one, brother! (Douchebag, can't believe I just gave him $10)
Also rather amusing, right? :D
Different attitudes, but what they did was essentially the same: They'd give you what you want from them, especially if you ask nicely.
Ahhh don't you just love family reunions.
Wait what?
No seriously. Considerate people aren't necessarily a good thing. What if everyone in the world were ALL considerate?
Scenario 1
Considerate Man 1: Please do have this seat.
Considerate Man 2: Nonono, it's alright, you go ahead.
CM1: Nah don't you worry about me, take a seat!
CM2: No YOU don't worry about ME, YOU take a seat!
CM1: YOU!
CM2:YOU!
CM1:YOU!
CM2:(F___) YOU!
It'd actually be rather amusing. :)
Now consider hypocrites. Put them beside considerate people (For the purposes of this post we shall just call them "Considerates"), and most of you would say something like "Hey these guys are on the opposite end of the spectrum!". Now, are they really?
Scenario 2
Random Guy: Hey do you mind lending me $10?
H: (No chance in hell, biyatch) Sure thing :)
RG: Thanks!
H: You owe me one, brother! (Douchebag, can't believe I just gave him $10)
Also rather amusing, right? :D
Different attitudes, but what they did was essentially the same: They'd give you what you want from them, especially if you ask nicely.
Ahhh don't you just love family reunions.
A Rant about the Rain
People like to say things like, "Raindrops are actually tears falling down from heaven, because they are so sad when they see how humans are living" and shit. To that I say: Screw you! :P
There are 2 main reasons I say this.
1)The nature of the raindrops. When you cry, you have these rather huge-like teardrops just streaming down your face, no? You don't have a crazy number of tears spurting out from your eyes, all at once, right? Besides, it is not practical for people to cry so much that we get rain. Heaven is supposed to be a happy place, not emo-nemo like that. Furthermore, when you cry you normally just wipe the tears away. It's far too ticklish to let the teardrop trickle down your face, far too ticklish.
I'd say the raindrops look more like something from... a garden hose, no? :) A giant garden hose. Like how an ant sees a regular garden hose. Yes...
2)Something to do with geography. Rain does not occur at everywhere in the world/the continent/the country/the island/Tampines at the same time. It only occurs at some parts of some places at some times. Compare this to crying. Do you ever "cry into" something? Or do you ever have a special "crying place"? Or is there a roster which says where you go to cry at which days of the week?
No! You cry as and when you please! Humans are undisciplined like that sigh. On the contrary, however, when you want to pee, for example, you go to the washroom. Even then, you piss specifically into the toilet, not just everywhere around on the washroom floor, walls, and mirrors (eew.)
Now compare this specific-ness of location for peeing to that of rain.
Guys, now think about the giant garden hose.
;)
There are 2 main reasons I say this.
1)The nature of the raindrops. When you cry, you have these rather huge-like teardrops just streaming down your face, no? You don't have a crazy number of tears spurting out from your eyes, all at once, right? Besides, it is not practical for people to cry so much that we get rain. Heaven is supposed to be a happy place, not emo-nemo like that. Furthermore, when you cry you normally just wipe the tears away. It's far too ticklish to let the teardrop trickle down your face, far too ticklish.
I'd say the raindrops look more like something from... a garden hose, no? :) A giant garden hose. Like how an ant sees a regular garden hose. Yes...
2)Something to do with geography. Rain does not occur at everywhere in the world/the continent/the country/the island/Tampines at the same time. It only occurs at some parts of some places at some times. Compare this to crying. Do you ever "cry into" something? Or do you ever have a special "crying place"? Or is there a roster which says where you go to cry at which days of the week?
No! You cry as and when you please! Humans are undisciplined like that sigh. On the contrary, however, when you want to pee, for example, you go to the washroom. Even then, you piss specifically into the toilet, not just everywhere around on the washroom floor, walls, and mirrors (eew.)
Now compare this specific-ness of location for peeing to that of rain.
Guys, now think about the giant garden hose.
;)
Somebody give me a notebook!
I thought of something, but I forgot what it is! Ahhh moments like these truly stink.
And, maybe I shall start tweeting less so that I have more to blog about. *pensive*
And, maybe I shall start tweeting less so that I have more to blog about. *pensive*
What cats and dogs? It's raining elephants and rhinos.
I spent last night at Pasir Ris Beach on a whim (although technically, it was the earlier part of this morning). I see things much more clearly now! I know where I am, what I want for myself, and what I have to do. The true spirit of atheism. Focus. Give something serious enough thought (either that, or enough serious thought) , and there will always be a development of some sort. Too often, I see people who attempt to binge away or sleep off their problems. Cowardly, temporal reprieve for a mediocre mind.
Moving on.
I am...led to believe that I've been using my piano pedals(which also means playing the piano) so much that my ankles are aching. My thoughts: Wtf? Yeah sure I have been spending entire afternoons playing piano, but hey I've never had problems like that before. I'll have to check my posture.
Piano exam is this Tuesday, btw. Which is bad, because I STILL can't play the scale in F# minor properly. Yeah go figure :$ I think I'll be able to do well though. I love my instrument! No, I actually dislike my crappy piano a fair bit, but I love playing piano in general. It's kind of like Red Bull. Energy courses through your fingers, up your arms, and along your spine. It whets your appetite and saturates your soul. You feel like you can go on forever and not stop, and when you do stop, you are invigorated, refreshed, rebirth-ed.
But when you play until your ankles start hurting, then it's just stupid larh.
Moving on.
I am...led to believe that I've been using my piano pedals(which also means playing the piano) so much that my ankles are aching. My thoughts: Wtf? Yeah sure I have been spending entire afternoons playing piano, but hey I've never had problems like that before. I'll have to check my posture.
Piano exam is this Tuesday, btw. Which is bad, because I STILL can't play the scale in F# minor properly. Yeah go figure :$ I think I'll be able to do well though. I love my instrument! No, I actually dislike my crappy piano a fair bit, but I love playing piano in general. It's kind of like Red Bull. Energy courses through your fingers, up your arms, and along your spine. It whets your appetite and saturates your soul. You feel like you can go on forever and not stop, and when you do stop, you are invigorated, refreshed, rebirth-ed.
But when you play until your ankles start hurting, then it's just stupid larh.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Fingers start across the keyboard. Ab Major.
So! My 3rd blog in a year. Well let's see how long this one lasts. This time I'll probably have much more to write about, since I've grown so much from the last time I kept a blog. No, of course I'm not talking about literal, physical growth. Don't be shallow. Empty vessels make the most noise, and I cannot stand noise. Nor can I stand empty vessels. Same goes for bimbos, show-offs, smartasses, dumbasses, and.... Well you get the point.
Today was a quiet day and I was feeling particularly lousy. Composed 2 pieces today, one in Ab major and one in Db major. Ab major is my favourite key because it gives you a very serene, flowing sound. Keys like D major are far too bright and vibrant for my liking and keys like F# major are just too deep and powerful and bass-ish to use to great variety. Of course it does have to do with my ability, but I'm just saying. I don't really like my pieces though.
I've been feeling this gnawing... jealousy(?) of late. What's it supposed to be? I mean, duh it's the hormones at work here, but I think I'm bordering on obsession. Although I'd like to get to know this one person better, I'm currently definitely not very very close with that person, and I'm sure as hell that person isn't very very close to me. Besides, Keith you idiot don't go walking through another rose bush (they are thorny as hell, btw) before you're even done with healing from the previous such walk. Readers, please do think about why I used rose bushes in my metaphor.
I was actually supposed to spend tonight at eHub until Benedict called it off, so I'm stuck here typing compo. Psssh. Speaking about night. Last night I decided to abandon my rollerblading buddies and go for a round (around the Eastern Park Connector) myself. I passed through my favourite places and revisited my sweetest memories. Last night was the first time I mustered the courage to go clean out this closet. Damn it hurt. Good thing I was on my skates, because I ran and ran and ran through the cold night wind, and I didn't stop once.
P.S: Right. First post out of the way. I'm pretty satisfied.
P.P.S: Wonder when will my 2nd post be? I'm waiting with bated breath.
P.P.P.S: Cheryl yes go ahead and knock yourself out:)
Today was a quiet day and I was feeling particularly lousy. Composed 2 pieces today, one in Ab major and one in Db major. Ab major is my favourite key because it gives you a very serene, flowing sound. Keys like D major are far too bright and vibrant for my liking and keys like F# major are just too deep and powerful and bass-ish to use to great variety. Of course it does have to do with my ability, but I'm just saying. I don't really like my pieces though.
I've been feeling this gnawing... jealousy(?) of late. What's it supposed to be? I mean, duh it's the hormones at work here, but I think I'm bordering on obsession. Although I'd like to get to know this one person better, I'm currently definitely not very very close with that person, and I'm sure as hell that person isn't very very close to me. Besides, Keith you idiot don't go walking through another rose bush (they are thorny as hell, btw) before you're even done with healing from the previous such walk. Readers, please do think about why I used rose bushes in my metaphor.
I was actually supposed to spend tonight at eHub until Benedict called it off, so I'm stuck here typing compo. Psssh. Speaking about night. Last night I decided to abandon my rollerblading buddies and go for a round (around the Eastern Park Connector) myself. I passed through my favourite places and revisited my sweetest memories. Last night was the first time I mustered the courage to go clean out this closet. Damn it hurt. Good thing I was on my skates, because I ran and ran and ran through the cold night wind, and I didn't stop once.
P.S: Right. First post out of the way. I'm pretty satisfied.
P.P.S: Wonder when will my 2nd post be? I'm waiting with bated breath.
P.P.P.S: Cheryl yes go ahead and knock yourself out:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
