Eminem- Beautiful
Who says rappers all only "sing" about drugs and guns and gangs and prostitutes and money?
Eminem is my favourite rapper! Actually he's the only rapper I listen to because as opposed to all that other shallow trash, quite a number of his songs are deep, moving, poignant and... dare I say inspirational?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
A kind of weird habit
Hi Bob! :D
So!! School has been crazy fun of late. I've been studying hard and for the first time, I know I'm not letting myself down. I need to find myself some time to love my piano, though. Nowadays I'm forced to go for days at a time without hearing it! When I come home dead beat and late into the night, I see the ebony beauty which sits commandingly in my room, and I really do feel a pang. :(
Today I went to play soccer with the dudes. It was damn fun and I think I made some new friends but I felt pretty lazy so I didn't run around much, didn't bother to aim much and basically just watched the others play. Not that it's always like that! Heh.
Today I went around calling people Bob on a stroke of inspiration. EVERYBODY I knew was Bob for a day! I mean, you have the same name as everyone. That's pretty damn awesome.
School nowadays is great because of my focus, and my friends. Definitely not my classmates. Not for the first time in my life, I regret ever having picked the 3x science class. The subjects are pretty good, but I generally dislike the people. Nobody there really clicks with me you know?!?! Well, more or less, it's just Anderson the rush-to-KFC-for-lunch-then-late-for-lesson buddy, and Zul the confidante-plus-everything-else-zaikiah-ster. I don't really talk to anyone else and my class is sooo fragmented it's all about "To Each His Own" and shit so it's normally pretty damn boring. And I feel more part of a class with 4R2 then with my own class but I'm not really in 4R2 so there's the awkward situation whereby 4R2 is going Genting and some people are like "Hey Keith should come too" while some people are like "No Keith is 4R1 so he shouldn't come". I mean I want to go larhh because 4R2 means more to me as a class than 4R1 ever did but in the end I'm not REALLY in 4R2 so it's mighty awkward and it's a fucking shitty situation to be in :(:( Zzzzzzzzz.
I've just been to a website I shouldn't have been to (no, not porn -,-) and I feel slightly happy, slightly sad, and pretty puzzled. Let's just leave it at that, maybe I'll tell the Bobs closer to me or whatever. I have learnt to tell myself: Whenever it appears like it's a hint for you, it's really just you making things up. Yeah I know, pessimistic much, but I'd choose hurting the person who really IS hinting at something, over making myself look like a fool, anyday of the week. It's not me being a self-centered asshole, it's that anyone who falls for the same pothole twice is an idiot.
I hope this particular person disappears quickly because I still can't entirely forget
I think I'm losing my focus!! Shit. Nooo I have to get myself back on track because it may only be halfway through, but I've come too far to lose sight of my goals now. C'monBob Keith!!!
So!! School has been crazy fun of late. I've been studying hard and for the first time, I know I'm not letting myself down. I need to find myself some time to love my piano, though. Nowadays I'm forced to go for days at a time without hearing it! When I come home dead beat and late into the night, I see the ebony beauty which sits commandingly in my room, and I really do feel a pang. :(
Today I went to play soccer with the dudes. It was damn fun and I think I made some new friends but I felt pretty lazy so I didn't run around much, didn't bother to aim much and basically just watched the others play. Not that it's always like that! Heh.
Today I went around calling people Bob on a stroke of inspiration. EVERYBODY I knew was Bob for a day! I mean, you have the same name as everyone. That's pretty damn awesome.
School nowadays is great because of my focus, and my friends. Definitely not my classmates. Not for the first time in my life, I regret ever having picked the 3x science class. The subjects are pretty good, but I generally dislike the people. Nobody there really clicks with me you know?!?! Well, more or less, it's just Anderson the rush-to-KFC-for-lunch-then-late-for-lesson buddy, and Zul the confidante-plus-everything-else-zaikiah-ster. I don't really talk to anyone else and my class is sooo fragmented it's all about "To Each His Own" and shit so it's normally pretty damn boring. And I feel more part of a class with 4R2 then with my own class but I'm not really in 4R2 so there's the awkward situation whereby 4R2 is going Genting and some people are like "Hey Keith should come too" while some people are like "No Keith is 4R1 so he shouldn't come". I mean I want to go larhh because 4R2 means more to me as a class than 4R1 ever did but in the end I'm not REALLY in 4R2 so it's mighty awkward and it's a fucking shitty situation to be in :(:( Zzzzzzzzz.
I've just been to a website I shouldn't have been to (no, not porn -,-) and I feel slightly happy, slightly sad, and pretty puzzled. Let's just leave it at that, maybe I'll tell the Bobs closer to me or whatever. I have learnt to tell myself: Whenever it appears like it's a hint for you, it's really just you making things up. Yeah I know, pessimistic much, but I'd choose hurting the person who really IS hinting at something, over making myself look like a fool, anyday of the week. It's not me being a self-centered asshole, it's that anyone who falls for the same pothole twice is an idiot.
I hope this particular person disappears quickly because I still can't entirely forget
I think I'm losing my focus!! Shit. Nooo I have to get myself back on track because it may only be halfway through, but I've come too far to lose sight of my goals now. C'mon
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
And so I fight once more for dominance.
I'm hearing voices again. This time, though, it sounds cold, rational, deep. Not the sing-song, twisted, flanging one from last month.
Do not take it for granted that your mind bears only one living consciousness.
Do not take it for granted that your mind bears only one living consciousness.
When you do not have a particular topic, what do you call it?
Hmm I'm guessing that people like to call such posts "rants". But rants are posts which lack content, as opposed to what I am about to post, which will have content from all over the damn place.
First up. I think I like basketball a lot more than soccer. I probably like my soccer kaki-s more, but I like the basketball GAME a lot more. I just play basketball a lot better than I play soccer. Yeah it's probably to do with my physique and yadah yadah, well don't start pulling out the hate-sticks because I just said I like to play basketball more, I didn't say "I'm the awesomest basketballer there is" or whatever.
I play a more cerebral game. I approach a game of basketball not too differently from a game of chess. It's all about being mentally sharp and focused. A lot of my game revolves around movement, getting myself into a position where I can line up a sweet jumper. And believe me, my jump shots have been SWEET :D
Well, in comparison to how I normally fare, anyway. I know I've improved quite a bit, though, which is good! Thoroughly enjoyed my 2.5 hours of basketball today, although I was supposed to be at the gym. Oh well. My arms are still aching from my previous visit anyway. I'll go on Thursday. Important to de-stress after all that no-lifer studying!
I think I am going to stop with my Moments for now. I am probably naturally gifted with an effortless ability to roll awesome melodies off my fingers, but my accompaniment is invariably shit. It gets very frustrating when I can't play anything other than an arpeggios to accompany my melody. I am going to stop because I am truly sick of it. And of all my songs, there are a few which are especially sentimental.Those are my favourite pieces and I feel quite disheartened to only chance upon Moments of such quality only occasionally. Of course, my favourite pieces ALL have arpeggios accompaniment too, and that kinda sucks. I'm going to spend a couple of years learning Theory of Music before I attempt to compose again. I wanna try the cool stuff like chordal, Monophonic, homophonic, Alberti's, and... Contrapunto! I want to learn to compose some of the music I love :)
Well recently there was a real controversy for me on Facebook. Nevermind the first part. That's settled already. My SC was maligned, so I defend my juniors and my fellow ex-SCs. Then I had this "righteous" Ghost of SC Past come along and shit his pants trying to prove me wrong. And what? Based on stuff he experienced in school when I was still in like Lower Primary. Sigh I didn't wanna say that to him (I don't even remember his name anymore) because I think everyone deserves at least a minimum amount of respect, but I think I can't be blamed for thinking: How, by Paganini's fingers, is his experience relevant? C'mon la, I mean ok you come back and help your CCA and shit, but you know nuts about what goes on in the school beyond your CCA now, since you're no longer a student, so zip it and stop being an asshole.
It totally helped that he kept nit-picking at what I typed and he had great fun twisting the meaning of my words to make me look like an arrogant asshole. I almost want to applaud him because it's been such a long time since I've come across anyone half as good at bullshitting.
I mean, I know very fucking well that you don't declare yourself good, it's other people that rate you as "good". I totally needed him to teach me that, because I was too stupid to learn that myself in 2 years of experience in leadership roles. And it was really icing on the cake that this faceless mentor was very much a nameless student throughout his life. Ahh, the ironies of life! Not to say that there's anything wrong with that, but there IS something wrong when such a person tries to be bigger than he is, which is honestly not very big.
Lastly. I am coming to terms with how some people just aren't worth it. People prove themselves over time, and over time, the dazzle on certain people does indeed fade away and you see them for the ordinary (which is a nice way to say "mediocre", since mediocre means average) person that they are. I find ALL of my friends extraordinary in some way, as a matter of fact, although some are more extraordinary to me than others. The day the last vestiges of your dazzle fade away, is the day I see that you're not a friend worth keeping, since you do not bring anything special. And you, yes you, are very ordinary indeed, I see that now. STILL thoroughly disappointing, especially when in comparison with my initial, flawed impression. Sigh. I think it can be said that I do not care for this certain person's friendship anymore. Do what you will, I couldn't feel less hurt or angry.
LOL sorry that I had to end with a sad tone. Oh well, 'tis but a tiny blemish in a life for which the bright, radiant sun is the best analogy.
(HEHEHEH I COULDN'T RESIST IT I JUST HAD TO END WITH A CHIM-OLOGY)
First up. I think I like basketball a lot more than soccer. I probably like my soccer kaki-s more, but I like the basketball GAME a lot more. I just play basketball a lot better than I play soccer. Yeah it's probably to do with my physique and yadah yadah, well don't start pulling out the hate-sticks because I just said I like to play basketball more, I didn't say "I'm the awesomest basketballer there is" or whatever.
I play a more cerebral game. I approach a game of basketball not too differently from a game of chess. It's all about being mentally sharp and focused. A lot of my game revolves around movement, getting myself into a position where I can line up a sweet jumper. And believe me, my jump shots have been SWEET :D
Well, in comparison to how I normally fare, anyway. I know I've improved quite a bit, though, which is good! Thoroughly enjoyed my 2.5 hours of basketball today, although I was supposed to be at the gym. Oh well. My arms are still aching from my previous visit anyway. I'll go on Thursday. Important to de-stress after all that no-lifer studying!
I think I am going to stop with my Moments for now. I am probably naturally gifted with an effortless ability to roll awesome melodies off my fingers, but my accompaniment is invariably shit. It gets very frustrating when I can't play anything other than an arpeggios to accompany my melody. I am going to stop because I am truly sick of it. And of all my songs, there are a few which are especially sentimental.Those are my favourite pieces and I feel quite disheartened to only chance upon Moments of such quality only occasionally. Of course, my favourite pieces ALL have arpeggios accompaniment too, and that kinda sucks. I'm going to spend a couple of years learning Theory of Music before I attempt to compose again. I wanna try the cool stuff like chordal, Monophonic, homophonic, Alberti's, and... Contrapunto! I want to learn to compose some of the music I love :)
Well recently there was a real controversy for me on Facebook. Nevermind the first part. That's settled already. My SC was maligned, so I defend my juniors and my fellow ex-SCs. Then I had this "righteous" Ghost of SC Past come along and shit his pants trying to prove me wrong. And what? Based on stuff he experienced in school when I was still in like Lower Primary. Sigh I didn't wanna say that to him (I don't even remember his name anymore) because I think everyone deserves at least a minimum amount of respect, but I think I can't be blamed for thinking: How, by Paganini's fingers, is his experience relevant? C'mon la, I mean ok you come back and help your CCA and shit, but you know nuts about what goes on in the school beyond your CCA now, since you're no longer a student, so zip it and stop being an asshole.
It totally helped that he kept nit-picking at what I typed and he had great fun twisting the meaning of my words to make me look like an arrogant asshole. I almost want to applaud him because it's been such a long time since I've come across anyone half as good at bullshitting.
I mean, I know very fucking well that you don't declare yourself good, it's other people that rate you as "good". I totally needed him to teach me that, because I was too stupid to learn that myself in 2 years of experience in leadership roles. And it was really icing on the cake that this faceless mentor was very much a nameless student throughout his life. Ahh, the ironies of life! Not to say that there's anything wrong with that, but there IS something wrong when such a person tries to be bigger than he is, which is honestly not very big.
Lastly. I am coming to terms with how some people just aren't worth it. People prove themselves over time, and over time, the dazzle on certain people does indeed fade away and you see them for the ordinary (which is a nice way to say "mediocre", since mediocre means average) person that they are. I find ALL of my friends extraordinary in some way, as a matter of fact, although some are more extraordinary to me than others. The day the last vestiges of your dazzle fade away, is the day I see that you're not a friend worth keeping, since you do not bring anything special. And you, yes you, are very ordinary indeed, I see that now. STILL thoroughly disappointing, especially when in comparison with my initial, flawed impression. Sigh. I think it can be said that I do not care for this certain person's friendship anymore. Do what you will, I couldn't feel less hurt or angry.
LOL sorry that I had to end with a sad tone. Oh well, 'tis but a tiny blemish in a life for which the bright, radiant sun is the best analogy.
(HEHEHEH I COULDN'T RESIST IT I JUST HAD TO END WITH A CHIM-OLOGY)
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I will make it out! I think.
The days have been far too long, and the nights far too short. I suppose this is part and parcel of life as a straight-A student (I'm serious! My results of late have been awesome. Amaths, emaths, bio, chem, physics, english, whatever. You name it baby ;D). I'm feeling a bit burned out by all that I've been doing the past 2 weeks. I will probably get used to this if I keep this up long enough, but I think the question that I must answer when I return to East Coast Park for the first time in a month, later tonight is: Am I willing to put everything else aside, and focus 100% on my studies? I have never been about fantastic results and entire afternoons buried in textbooks. I wonder if I can convince myself to stay on this path all the way through to the O levels. Already, my new study programme has cost me a part of my life; now I only play piano about 4 hours a week, and I only get to play on weekends. This is compared to the 14 hours or so I used to spend on the piano, drilling away on the keys or composing something interesting. I don't think I will be able to live without my dear instrument much longer!
The human mind (or rather, the mind of Keith Ang, since I don't know what passes through you guys' brains daily. Although I certainly can know if I want to :P) is a complex thing indeed! Life is extremely simple now. I think I'm now living the life of a normal teenager. Cajole around with friends, study hard, cajole around with friends more, study harder, have fun, go home and feel happy. But... I don't know. I find life increasingly one-dimensional. It is no longer the dizzying hall of mirrors, and I haven't felt lost in a long time, but now I find life far too linear. Like.. the road is so smooth and mapped out! Where's the fun in an existence that presents no challenge bah. I hope I can find a solution to this problem when I go back to my usual spot along the beach at East Coast Park later on. I'm looking forward to it because returning there reminds me of a recent event which already feels surprisingly distant. Ironic that that same event was the reason why I stopped visiting ECP at night in the first place. Heh.
Neural overload is bad for the soul!
The human mind (or rather, the mind of Keith Ang, since I don't know what passes through you guys' brains daily. Although I certainly can know if I want to :P) is a complex thing indeed! Life is extremely simple now. I think I'm now living the life of a normal teenager. Cajole around with friends, study hard, cajole around with friends more, study harder, have fun, go home and feel happy. But... I don't know. I find life increasingly one-dimensional. It is no longer the dizzying hall of mirrors, and I haven't felt lost in a long time, but now I find life far too linear. Like.. the road is so smooth and mapped out! Where's the fun in an existence that presents no challenge bah. I hope I can find a solution to this problem when I go back to my usual spot along the beach at East Coast Park later on. I'm looking forward to it because returning there reminds me of a recent event which already feels surprisingly distant. Ironic that that same event was the reason why I stopped visiting ECP at night in the first place. Heh.
Neural overload is bad for the soul!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
What Justin Bieber should be singing
YEAHHHH (Y) >:D See he's so talented because his lyrics make so much sense.
I'm Just A Baby- Daveday's parody of Justin Bieber's Baby
I know you love me they all do
Hop on the list babe I might pick you
I fell in love girl many times
My heart first broke when I was nine
She cheated on me it really hurt
On the playground with some jerk
I know what love is I've got full experience
But deep down inside
I'm just a baby baby baby Ohhh
A baby baby baby no don't touch me!
Baby baby baby ohhsdfjkldsj
Puberty suck sometimes!
I'm making money everywhere
I've got a room full of underwear
But I don't want you money
And I don't want your clothes
I want a girl who knows
How to maintain a stable relationship
With good communication
Can you take care of kids?
Cause' I've got names picked out
And a drivers license in about (5 months)
I know it all sounds scary
Now baby let's get married
I keep forgetting that I'm
I'm just a baby baby baby Ohhh
A baby baby baby no don't touch me!
Baby baby baby ohhsdfjkldsj
I move away from the microphone to breathe
When I was like 12 I fell in love hard
That's when I knew I couldn't be without girl
Weddings in March
So grab my pack of crayons let's hit the 7th grade
My voice is changing up but I'm still getting
Laid...
...ies home phone numbers so I can call their moms
to talk to my moms to see if we can hang out after
school for a few hours when your moms home from work
WOAH WHAT! Dave don't be such a...
Baby baby baby Ohhh
A baby baby baby no don't touch me!
Baby baby baby ohhsdfjkldsj
Puberty suck sometimes!
Now that 's a talent!
Forget the fact that he's in love with Miley Cyrus! I think that the fact that he wrote this himself (and I think that he, by all industry definitions, is very much an amateur) is amazing. This song... speaks to me in a way that normally only Chopin does. (no, not Mozart or Beethoven or Bach or whatever, they all speak to me in other different ways, just Chopin now) Read: It relates to my romantic side. Read: It reminds me of someone!
this has been going on
each second i look you're gone
you're not calling
it's time for me to move on
my friends were right all along
you keep falling away
giving ups not easy
its hard enough to say
as much as i make believe
you're not really here with me
what was i thinking from the beginning
you didn't care at all
so here's your last song
i can leave it all behind
or take another chance to find you
no where in sight
going to the movies alone
every scenes that's shown
reminds me of you
as much as i make believe
you're not really here with me
what was i thinking from the beginning
you didn't care at all
all that's left are the memories
constantly haunting me
i'm giving up it's time to grow up
you're not around and we're not in love
heres the last song
laying around in around in this hotel room
too much to think about nothing to do
she's not coming back she's not coming back
as much as i make believe
something in side of me
has got me hoping got me thinking
who am i to assume
this love is crazy
unpredictable maybe
you'll melt my heart like you did from the start
all over again it's not the end
so here's your last song
yeah we made it out
this has been going on
each second i look you're gone
you're not calling
it's time for me to move on
my friends were right all along
you keep falling away
giving ups not easy
its hard enough to say
as much as i make believe
you're not really here with me
what was i thinking from the beginning
you didn't care at all
so here's your last song
i can leave it all behind
or take another chance to find you
no where in sight
going to the movies alone
every scenes that's shown
reminds me of you
as much as i make believe
you're not really here with me
what was i thinking from the beginning
you didn't care at all
all that's left are the memories
constantly haunting me
i'm giving up it's time to grow up
you're not around and we're not in love
heres the last song
laying around in around in this hotel room
too much to think about nothing to do
she's not coming back she's not coming back
as much as i make believe
something in side of me
has got me hoping got me thinking
who am i to assume
this love is crazy
unpredictable maybe
you'll melt my heart like you did from the start
all over again it's not the end
so here's your last song
yeah we made it out
Saturday, April 10, 2010
What about that!
Hey! It's been a long 2 days!!
So.... Basically there was the Student Leader Investiture. There was this 3 hour long ceremony in which I went onstage to receive this bunch of certificates and shit. Hehehehe. I worked for 2 years to get 2 pieces of paper (SC, Drama certs), which is better than Wei Jie, who worked 2 years to get 1 piece of paper (SC cert only). That's a 100% more! HAHA
OK LAME. After the ceremony we took pictures abit, and then I taught my juniors the SC Cheer! Yehhh~~ It's like, like, "Chuan Zhong Jie Dai", you know? Heh. I really like the new SCs this year, they look realllly promising. I mean, it took me around 30 minutes to bond them! How awesome is that! (Personal best heh.) Well all I'm saying is that they've had an awesome start, and they can only get better. I hope that the little speech Wei Jie and I gave them can give the little push that all juniors need, as well as some guidance. I am encouraged by what I see when I look back, and gaze down upon all I'm leaving behind from the little ledge I'm perched upon. It's time to climb another mountain.
After the ice-breakers in the canteen, we headed down to eHub for a meal together. Then, we knocked ourselves(and each other) out with the crazy stuff we did at the K-box level! Heh. That was the first time I went on taupok spree with my SC :D I'm a little sad that I didn't do crazy shit like that with them earlier, because it did dawn on me that it would more or less be the last time I would get to do things like that with them already. I think I'm going to miss the group, because the people there have become such a part of me! Oh well. This is part of self-improvement I guess. Learning to cope with changes, especially when they're so close to your heart!
Abit on a different topic now. I've realized my thoughts have been less active of late. It's probably because I have been busier with the stuff around me, and I haven't really had time to sift through the stuff within me. I think it's also because there's simply less to think about, now that TCS is decisively out of my mind. Well... I made sure she's out of my life, out of my realm of existence, too. It's almost as if we are now strangers. Which probably isn't a bad thing, because my nerves tingle too much around that certain someone. Far too much for me to muster any attempt to be charming :P But of course, girls aren't the only thing on my mind -.- My piano exams are also over, which means that I can now return to playing piano as a true passion, as opposed to playing the stuff I HAVE to play to prepare for exam. Not that I don't do those things passionately.
Life now is simpler. This clarity is very refreshing! Go to school, say hi to everyone you know, be a good senior to juniors, enjoy my time with my friends, study hard, have fun, play piano, go hang out, do all the fun stuff. Be nice to everyone! Hmmm, now I probably enjoy life a lot more. I think I realise how much my introspective pondering has cost me. Follow your heart and run along with the wind that is emotion! Keith has, after all, always been about passion infused with a deep, thoughtful mind, and not the other way around. Hehehehe.
It's quite breathtaking how much one grows and changes in a mere two weeks. I'm reading my posts from the past, and the person who wrote them doesn't seem quite like me.
So.... Basically there was the Student Leader Investiture. There was this 3 hour long ceremony in which I went onstage to receive this bunch of certificates and shit. Hehehehe. I worked for 2 years to get 2 pieces of paper (SC, Drama certs), which is better than Wei Jie, who worked 2 years to get 1 piece of paper (SC cert only). That's a 100% more! HAHA
OK LAME. After the ceremony we took pictures abit, and then I taught my juniors the SC Cheer! Yehhh~~ It's like, like, "Chuan Zhong Jie Dai", you know? Heh. I really like the new SCs this year, they look realllly promising. I mean, it took me around 30 minutes to bond them! How awesome is that! (Personal best heh.) Well all I'm saying is that they've had an awesome start, and they can only get better. I hope that the little speech Wei Jie and I gave them can give the little push that all juniors need, as well as some guidance. I am encouraged by what I see when I look back, and gaze down upon all I'm leaving behind from the little ledge I'm perched upon. It's time to climb another mountain.
After the ice-breakers in the canteen, we headed down to eHub for a meal together. Then, we knocked ourselves(and each other) out with the crazy stuff we did at the K-box level! Heh. That was the first time I went on taupok spree with my SC :D I'm a little sad that I didn't do crazy shit like that with them earlier, because it did dawn on me that it would more or less be the last time I would get to do things like that with them already. I think I'm going to miss the group, because the people there have become such a part of me! Oh well. This is part of self-improvement I guess. Learning to cope with changes, especially when they're so close to your heart!
Abit on a different topic now. I've realized my thoughts have been less active of late. It's probably because I have been busier with the stuff around me, and I haven't really had time to sift through the stuff within me. I think it's also because there's simply less to think about, now that TCS is decisively out of my mind. Well... I made sure she's out of my life, out of my realm of existence, too. It's almost as if we are now strangers. Which probably isn't a bad thing, because my nerves tingle too much around that certain someone. Far too much for me to muster any attempt to be charming :P But of course, girls aren't the only thing on my mind -.- My piano exams are also over, which means that I can now return to playing piano as a true passion, as opposed to playing the stuff I HAVE to play to prepare for exam. Not that I don't do those things passionately.
Life now is simpler. This clarity is very refreshing! Go to school, say hi to everyone you know, be a good senior to juniors, enjoy my time with my friends, study hard, have fun, play piano, go hang out, do all the fun stuff. Be nice to everyone! Hmmm, now I probably enjoy life a lot more. I think I realise how much my introspective pondering has cost me. Follow your heart and run along with the wind that is emotion! Keith has, after all, always been about passion infused with a deep, thoughtful mind, and not the other way around. Hehehehe.
It's quite breathtaking how much one grows and changes in a mere two weeks. I'm reading my posts from the past, and the person who wrote them doesn't seem quite like me.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Acclimatisation
I'm just going to say: I think I'm getting the hang of this study-until-your-brains-melt-for-3-hours-every-night thing. Which is good in the long run :D Although tonight I'm simply too tired to organize my thoughts very well, so this one gonna realllly short.
Hmm Jit Wei left me a question which the intellectual in me just couldn't resist ;P So, I'm going to wrangle with that one while I'm running at the reservoir, and... maybe I'll blog about this controversial topic another day :P
Last thing. Zul said to me at bus stop after night study,
Z: Keith, you're like a Motorola Dext.
K: Haha what why?
Z: "Everything else is anti-social"!
Of course, he added in a characteristic "chey" at the back :P
I have awesome friends, and Zul is right there at the top!! :) Mine may be a troubled existence, but there're always things to feel happy about! I don't think I'm the only one out there like that, so to all of you who also find yourselves through a storm every now and then, don't give up!!
Wah stress ah. Off to reservoir bye!
yesyesyes, at 10:40pm, shut up about it already! ;D
Hmm Jit Wei left me a question which the intellectual in me just couldn't resist ;P So, I'm going to wrangle with that one while I'm running at the reservoir, and... maybe I'll blog about this controversial topic another day :P
Last thing. Zul said to me at bus stop after night study,
Z: Keith, you're like a Motorola Dext.
K: Haha what why?
Z: "Everything else is anti-social"!
Of course, he added in a characteristic "chey" at the back :P
I have awesome friends, and Zul is right there at the top!! :) Mine may be a troubled existence, but there're always things to feel happy about! I don't think I'm the only one out there like that, so to all of you who also find yourselves through a storm every now and then, don't give up!!
Wah stress ah. Off to reservoir bye!
yesyesyes, at 10:40pm, shut up about it already! ;D
Mobileblogging
On zulicrumb's phone blogging now :D:D heh wifi phones are so fun because they rescue you from boring chem lessons! Bah this is not the way to be thoughtful and pensive and poetic so I think I'll put something up sometime tonight. I still wish I have a wifi phone though!!
Zul is peeking over my shoulder as I type this:( Tsk annoying sia!! Makes me nervous to type. You don't mark people's compo before they're done with it, you know??! Gah my first recess alone in class. I'm not hungry so i don't wanna go down and join the guys at canteen, but I don't feel like going to 4r2 today. Zul's there now, whichis why I'm free to blog on the phone:)
Today is an exciting day! After classes there's bio spa (hopefully no urea involved today), followed by investiture rehearsal! It feels weird... Because I still remember so clearly when I was a sec2, looking up at the sec3 exco and aspiring to be like them... It's such a vindicating experience! Tmrw I'll be where my seniors once were... Passing the baton, giving up the mantle!
Stepping down. I have a feeling that my work with the SC is far from done, though. Same goes for my cca.
Alas, that is a story for another day. I have to remain focused on my exams at the end of the year! That, and then some afterwards:)
After rehearsal I'll be in the library chionging with WeiJie, zul, ands, and andreas!! Rushhhhh!
Alright. Focus. Look. Leap. Fall. Fly. Free.
Zul is peeking over my shoulder as I type this:( Tsk annoying sia!! Makes me nervous to type. You don't mark people's compo before they're done with it, you know??! Gah my first recess alone in class. I'm not hungry so i don't wanna go down and join the guys at canteen, but I don't feel like going to 4r2 today. Zul's there now, whichis why I'm free to blog on the phone:)
Today is an exciting day! After classes there's bio spa (hopefully no urea involved today), followed by investiture rehearsal! It feels weird... Because I still remember so clearly when I was a sec2, looking up at the sec3 exco and aspiring to be like them... It's such a vindicating experience! Tmrw I'll be where my seniors once were... Passing the baton, giving up the mantle!
Stepping down. I have a feeling that my work with the SC is far from done, though. Same goes for my cca.
Alas, that is a story for another day. I have to remain focused on my exams at the end of the year! That, and then some afterwards:)
After rehearsal I'll be in the library chionging with WeiJie, zul, ands, and andreas!! Rushhhhh!
Alright. Focus. Look. Leap. Fall. Fly. Free.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
What do you call studying at night? Night study!
Hehe sorry like duh.
Night study today was very awesome for 2 reasons!
1) With Wei Jie at my table, I finished: 1 Full (meaning O level style) Bio Paper, 1 Full Chem Paper, and I still managed to squeeze in a quarter of all the Amath TYS questions on polynomials! Wow, I feel powerful :D Now I'm damn drained though. Just can't help but stick my tongue out and blow a big, wet raspberry. I mean, I finished all of that shit in 3 hours! How crazy is that!! :D:D
One thing I have complaints about though. There's this group of people at the library who bring food in and swear and talk loudly and make the library seem like the canteen with aircon. These people make my night study experience more zzz then it really was, because they totally screwed the atmosphere at the library. Before they entered, the library was so conducive! Let's just say that they ought to be in the canteen, and not just come up to the library for the sake of aircon, and wreck the studying of all the other people. -.- Tomorrow I think I'll feedback that to a teacher so they can take more steps to prevent people from defeating the purpose of going to the library in the first place.
YEAH I KNOW I JUST PROOF-READ WHATEVER I WROTE AND MY GRAMMAR AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE IS FUCKED UP I'M TOO TIRED TO CARE
2) I exorcised a ghost tonight! I had a good, long conversation with my certain someone and I can safely say that I am ready to put this dream to bed(heh heh heh the irony). I truly know where my focus lies now.
While I'm at it, another certain someone has thoroughly disappointed me today. I had never known that certain someone to be so judgmental and so easily affected by words, rumors, especially when the words come from the lips of the entire level's Mr. Blasphemy. That certain someone, of all people, should know that, having once been the target of his idiotic-ness herself. That certain someone avoids Mr. Blasphemy like the plague, but she just gulped down whatever spewed from his mouth today to feed this little thing called self-consciousness. And hurt other people in the process, of course. All of a sudden, it's who's-Keith-I'm-sorry-I-don't-know-him-so-even-if-we-make-eye-contact-I'll-just-pretend-I-saw-a-stranger-and-I-won't-say-hi. I'd always thought that certain someone to be far, far better than this. I hope that certain someone doesn't try to apologize because I'm not ready to forgive and forget anytime soon. Thoroughly, utterly, disappointing in the most abject meaning of the word, and I think I don't mind living life without that certain someone's friendship. At all.
Alright! Time for a shower and sleep! My success with the night study program invigorates me, and I'm ready for school tomorrow! I can feel myself gathering pace towards the O levels... Victoria JC doesn't seem that far-off a dream anymore :D
Night study today was very awesome for 2 reasons!
1) With Wei Jie at my table, I finished: 1 Full (meaning O level style) Bio Paper, 1 Full Chem Paper, and I still managed to squeeze in a quarter of all the Amath TYS questions on polynomials! Wow, I feel powerful :D Now I'm damn drained though. Just can't help but stick my tongue out and blow a big, wet raspberry. I mean, I finished all of that shit in 3 hours! How crazy is that!! :D:D
One thing I have complaints about though. There's this group of people at the library who bring food in and swear and talk loudly and make the library seem like the canteen with aircon. These people make my night study experience more zzz then it really was, because they totally screwed the atmosphere at the library. Before they entered, the library was so conducive! Let's just say that they ought to be in the canteen, and not just come up to the library for the sake of aircon, and wreck the studying of all the other people. -.- Tomorrow I think I'll feedback that to a teacher so they can take more steps to prevent people from defeating the purpose of going to the library in the first place.
YEAH I KNOW I JUST PROOF-READ WHATEVER I WROTE AND MY GRAMMAR AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE IS FUCKED UP I'M TOO TIRED TO CARE
2) I exorcised a ghost tonight! I had a good, long conversation with my certain someone and I can safely say that I am ready to put this dream to bed(heh heh heh the irony). I truly know where my focus lies now.
While I'm at it, another certain someone has thoroughly disappointed me today. I had never known that certain someone to be so judgmental and so easily affected by words, rumors, especially when the words come from the lips of the entire level's Mr. Blasphemy. That certain someone, of all people, should know that, having once been the target of his idiotic-ness herself. That certain someone avoids Mr. Blasphemy like the plague, but she just gulped down whatever spewed from his mouth today to feed this little thing called self-consciousness. And hurt other people in the process, of course. All of a sudden, it's who's-Keith-I'm-sorry-I-don't-know-him-so-even-if-we-make-eye-contact-I'll-just-pretend-I-saw-a-stranger-and-I-won't-say-hi. I'd always thought that certain someone to be far, far better than this. I hope that certain someone doesn't try to apologize because I'm not ready to forgive and forget anytime soon. Thoroughly, utterly, disappointing in the most abject meaning of the word, and I think I don't mind living life without that certain someone's friendship. At all.
Alright! Time for a shower and sleep! My success with the night study program invigorates me, and I'm ready for school tomorrow! I can feel myself gathering pace towards the O levels... Victoria JC doesn't seem that far-off a dream anymore :D
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Short Prose
Ever since I met you
I wanted to be your guy
but as you probably noticed
I'm pathologically shy
Standing on this stage right now
I think I'd rather die
so I'm just going to start by saying,
Hi.
I wanted to be your guy
but as you probably noticed
I'm pathologically shy
Standing on this stage right now
I think I'd rather die
so I'm just going to start by saying,
Hi.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Ouroboros
Heh. I used to think ACS reciprocated at least a bit... I guess I thought wrong! People learn from their mistakes I guess, so I'm just going to learn from mine, then dust myself off and get back to life. I don't know if it would just be a temporal sort of thing, but the kind of responses I've been getting recently... something tells me I should stop trying. I'm not blaming anyone for feeling down because some shit happened, but the way I've been.... bruised(?), I think... at the very least I need some time away from ACS. I don't think I have the capacity to be a very nice person after these 2 days. Yeah... It's unusually shortsighted of me... I mean it's just been 2 days(like literally 2 days, not figuratively "a couple of days") ACS has been like that, but I'm especially demoralized and... dare I say I'm hurt?
Other than the above, today was a pleasantly nondescript day. Piano. breakfast, a game of Dota(I haven't touched computer games for crazy long, and I really had nothing else to do, so I guess it was alright), read SS textbook, nap, 5km. I was supposed to hit the gym with Anderson this morning but heavy rain and us BOTH waking up late meant that we had to call it off. At least I got in some exercise anyway. Oh, and I skipped lunch because I try not to eat lunch when my day is extremely sedentary (like today). Well, I guess a manage a bit if my parents try to force the issue, but I'm not big on eating when I'm not hungry, you know? I think it's quite pointless to be eating simply because you are "supposed to", honestly.
In fact, I think it's quite pointless to be doing anything simple because you are "supposed to". For example, if you don't have anything to say to the half-acquaintance next to you, then just pretend he/she doesn't exist! I think it's quite stupid to try and be "polite"(especially when you don't have any genuine intention to be polite - you're just doing what you think you're "supposed to"), and do a half-assed attempt at acknowledging his/her presence, then proceed to maintain an awkward silence the whole way. Then, to break the monotony, you say some lines off the list of lines you have in your head, because you're "supposed to" say something. Sigh.
It's just plastic, it's very annoying sometimes, because the person you're talking to - wait - "supposed to" be talking to probably isn't a idiot and he/she will simply hear in you a robot operated by this insidious clockwork, ticking away to the dull mechanics of societal niceties. Honestly, of course people like to interact and it's great to have a lot to talk about to everyone, but do you really want people to think of you in that manner?
Alright point made I guess. Now, about a certain someone.....
Heh. I used to think ACS reciprocated at least a bit... I guess I thought wrong! People learn from their mistakes I guess, so I'm just going to learn from mine, then dust myself off and get back to life. I don't know if it would just be a temporal sort of thing, but the kind of responses I've been getting recently...
(Go look up the title of this post on Wikipedia. Read the post as many times as you like :P)
Other than the above, today was a pleasantly nondescript day. Piano. breakfast, a game of Dota(I haven't touched computer games for crazy long, and I really had nothing else to do, so I guess it was alright), read SS textbook, nap, 5km. I was supposed to hit the gym with Anderson this morning but heavy rain and us BOTH waking up late meant that we had to call it off. At least I got in some exercise anyway. Oh, and I skipped lunch because I try not to eat lunch when my day is extremely sedentary (like today). Well, I guess a manage a bit if my parents try to force the issue, but I'm not big on eating when I'm not hungry, you know? I think it's quite pointless to be eating simply because you are "supposed to", honestly.
In fact, I think it's quite pointless to be doing anything simple because you are "supposed to". For example, if you don't have anything to say to the half-acquaintance next to you, then just pretend he/she doesn't exist! I think it's quite stupid to try and be "polite"(especially when you don't have any genuine intention to be polite - you're just doing what you think you're "supposed to"), and do a half-assed attempt at acknowledging his/her presence, then proceed to maintain an awkward silence the whole way. Then, to break the monotony, you say some lines off the list of lines you have in your head, because you're "supposed to" say something. Sigh.
It's just plastic, it's very annoying sometimes, because the person you're talking to - wait - "supposed to" be talking to probably isn't a idiot and he/she will simply hear in you a robot operated by this insidious clockwork, ticking away to the dull mechanics of societal niceties. Honestly, of course people like to interact and it's great to have a lot to talk about to everyone, but do you really want people to think of you in that manner?
Alright point made I guess. Now, about a certain someone.....
Heh. I used to think ACS reciprocated at least a bit... I guess I thought wrong! People learn from their mistakes I guess, so I'm just going to learn from mine, then dust myself off and get back to life. I don't know if it would just be a temporal sort of thing, but the kind of responses I've been getting recently...
(Go look up the title of this post on Wikipedia. Read the post as many times as you like :P)
A clue to help remember
The previous post was too much info. So many clues and hints! Nooo we can't have that. It's been edited already so.... Mmm hmm.
A dream on a quiet Midsummer night
It's been a relatively long time since I posted something. (4days or so) It's not that my thoughts have run dry, no(I hope that happens one day though), I have probably been so caught up in recent events that I haven't had the time to sit down and record my thoughts. So! A few things I'd like to log.
I just discovered exactly how lousy and stupid I am at comforting people who are sad. Well, maybe the fact that I was typing away into a computer worked against me, but earlier tonight my mind was blank.... Lolwut, you know? What's worse, while attempting, I even managed to get myself into a confusion by stumbling upon a pang of... I don't even know what to call it.
Sigh. What's new these days, you know?
So anyway, I put down whatever I was trying (and failing) to do at the time and I went to contemplate. The possibilities I explored were.... They were revelations, and probably not of the good kind.I thought about some really scary things and there were some doors I refused to open. Possibly because behind them I might find the truth. Considering the effects of everything I'd rather be blind this once.
I don't want to get myself involved with certain people, especially at this time. What's more, after this year.... that person would probably not even be around anymore.... logically it's a very stupid thing to do, but my heart doesn't follow...
I don't know how I should go about handling this. Maybe I can suppress myself until the time comes and she goes (ironic). Maybe we'll spend a few sweet months together then separate tearfully (lol nigh-impossible since this little thing I've got going on is probably sadly one-sided). Then there's that fairytale ending which I'm not going to allow myself the stupidity of considering. Nothing is really helping, and I probably need to regain my focus! I'm cutting myself too much slack in more areas than one. Is this the decline? I don't feel as sharp and smart anymore. It's as if knowing that certain someone has paralyzed my wit and overloaded my tongue because I seem to speak in a very stupid manner everytime, you know.
I don't know if I'm just immersing myself in my introspective side too much, or is it that all teenagers are supposed not to know which way to go. This post has too many "I don't know"-s. One thing I do know is that this is not good for me long term... And I cannot take it so I must use singlish.
HOW AR?
I think I'm hating myself for choosing to indulge my childish, impulsive curiousity
I just discovered exactly how lousy and stupid I am at comforting people who are sad. Well, maybe the fact that I was typing away into a computer worked against me, but earlier tonight my mind was blank.... Lolwut, you know? What's worse, while attempting, I even managed to get myself into a confusion by stumbling upon a pang of... I don't even know what to call it.
Sigh. What's new these days, you know?
So anyway, I put down whatever I was trying (and failing) to do at the time and I went to contemplate. The possibilities I explored were.... They were revelations, and probably not of the good kind.I thought about some really scary things and there were some doors I refused to open. Possibly because behind them I might find the truth. Considering the effects of everything I'd rather be blind this once.
I don't want to get myself involved with certain people, especially at this time. What's more, after this year.... that person would probably not even be around anymore.... logically it's a very stupid thing to do, but my heart doesn't follow...
I don't know how I should go about handling this. Maybe I can suppress myself until the time comes and she goes (ironic). Maybe we'll spend a few sweet months together then separate tearfully (lol nigh-impossible since this little thing I've got going on is probably sadly one-sided). Then there's that fairytale ending which I'm not going to allow myself the stupidity of considering. Nothing is really helping, and I probably need to regain my focus! I'm cutting myself too much slack in more areas than one. Is this the decline? I don't feel as sharp and smart anymore. It's as if knowing that certain someone has paralyzed my wit and overloaded my tongue because I seem to speak in a very stupid manner everytime, you know.
I don't know if I'm just immersing myself in my introspective side too much, or is it that all teenagers are supposed not to know which way to go. This post has too many "I don't know"-s. One thing I do know is that this is not good for me long term... And I cannot take it so I must use singlish.
HOW AR?
I think I'm hating myself for choosing to indulge my childish, impulsive curiousity
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