I couldn't take it. I snuck out and wandered and wandered and found myself by the banks of Bedok Reservoir. There, I did what I usually did, and I sat up and pondered. Except that this time, there was no development, no spark to light up the darkness, no inspiration.
Everything remained murky. I think I am deteriorating somehow. It's good then that I can still lose myself in my piano scores, because sometimes I need to get away. Even the mono-conversations are losing their meaning, because a lot of times I simply do not answer. I mustn't lose my focus to something as trival as this. This setback is totally unjustified.
Ironic that the one thing that may help me, is the one thing I cannot allow myself to touch...
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